What’s Best For Me?

This week a friend posted the following quote on her Facebook page:

And I thought –

Yeah! That’s Me! That’s Totally Me!

And I started to reflect on all those decisions I made that were difficult, but were best for me. Like dropping out of school years ago (I did go back later), changing jobs, and most recently, retiring.

And looking over those decisions, I see that I might have to change that little epigram a bit:

Yeah! That’s Me! That’s Totally Me!

The sentence didn’t quite work with “I never feel bad”. “

I always feel bad” – well, that’s probably a little closer to the truth.

Difficult decisions are difficult BECAUSE you are not just choosing to go on to something wonderful. You are also leaving something behind. Changing jobs means leaving friends, and leaving behind the known for the unknown. As much as you think the new job will be fantastic – after all, that’s why you are leaving – you’re not SURE of that. Important choices are always filled with a fear of regret.

Major decisions are harrowing.

And how about decisions that you make that perhaps aren’t best for you?

Of course we make those decisions all the time.

I know someone who left a job he liked because he needed medical insurance for a sick kid. I know someone who moved away from her family because her husband had a great job opportunity. And I know tons of people who do favors for others all the time – when they really would rather say no.

So let me tweak that saying just a bit further:

Yeah! That’s Me! That’s Totally Me!

I’m not exactly Mother Teresa, but I can give someone a ride to the car dealer, or visit a sick friend in the hospital when I had originally planned a beach day. Or let my staff get credit for work I did myself. Because when it comes right down to it, helping other people feels pretty good.

And you know what also feels pretty good sometimes? Being bad feels good.

So then the adage could also be:

Yeah! That’s Me! That’s Totally Me!

I can stop on the way home from Yoga and buy a bag of potato chips and eat them all in the car. I can dance all night in shoes that hurt. I can go to the drugstore for bandaids (for mysterious blisters) and come home with four new lipsticks.

But mostly – overwhelmingly – whether I am doing good stuff for me or bad stuff for me, the truth is:

I don’t know how things will turn out.

I am groping my way through Life. Hoping that as I grope, I clasp onto the handle side of the knife. That the stray dog will kiss me and not bite me.

That as I close my eyes at the end of the day, I will be smiling. That perhaps, accidentally, I did what was right.

Because my epigram must be:

Yeah! That’s Me! That’s Totally Me!

Nancy Roman is the author of:

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Nancy Roman

Nancy Roman

Nancy Roman returned to writing after a long career as a financial executive. Her popular blog, "Not Quite Old" (http://notquiteold.com) captures the poignant (and often humorous) dilemmas of aging. She also has recently begun a beauty blog for mature women, "Age Before Beauty" (http://agebeforebeautyweb.wordpress.com). Her first novel, JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED, is available on Amazon.
Nancy lives in Connecticut with her husband, her adorable pest of a dog, and two well-behaved cats.
Nancy Roman

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